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Even the best changes involve loss

I was reminded this week that all changes – no matter how good – come with a sense of loss.

We bought a car. After 9 years, my husband’s SUV seemed to have more non-working parts than working parts. The key fobs didn’t work, and when he locked the door manually, one of the locks made a funny sound. The air conditioning (essential in Atlanta) occasionally stopped working. And don’t get me started on the noises it made. For months, he’d been saying he wanted to replace it. Last week, it crossed the threshold of 100,000 miles. We decided it was time to part with the 2003 Saturn Vue (which, by the way, is a discontinued make – there’s not even a good place to fix it when it really breaks).

On Tuesday, we found a used Toyota RAV4 – a model we had admired during previous rental car experiences – in great condition and at a good price. So we said goodbye to the Saturn and drove home the Toyota.

The next day, I asked him how he was enjoying his “new” car.

“Well…” he shrugged without enthusiasm. I gave him an incredulous look, because this car was so much better than his old one. After making a big investment, I couldn’t believe he would say that he didn’t like it.

Then, he started to list the little things that he lost. The locks don’t lock automatically when he turns on the car. And there’s no power outlet in the back seat. His emergency kit doesn’t fit under the driver’s seat anymore.

He summarized:  “It’s just… everything is different.”

And I smiled.  Because it’s a perfect example that even good change feels bad.

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