I think that particular lesson is certainly a valuable one and I agree with it. Our actions, over the long-run, are the best indicators of what we truly value, or at the very least, the values we are capable of having at the moment. For instance, in my teaching days, I had a number of students who professed that they valued acquiring a liberal arts education, though their actions indicated otherwise. But I couldnt’ determine one way or another based on one action or choice, such as the choice to attend class on one particular evening. That determination occurred over the course of the semester, looking at the sum total of their choices: did the student attend class regularly? If not, did he or she attempt to make up the time lost? Did the student take advantage of office hours? Was the student prepared for class if he or she attended? Over the course of the semester, a student’s actions provided far more insight into their value of acquiring an education than their vigorous and determined claims about their values.

I guess the claim I’m making, and the basic critique I’m making of the original story, is that rarely does a single action reveal the true motivation or value that an individual has (unless it’s in extreme cases, where someone takes a bullet for a friend or tells the truth, despite extremely unpleasant consequences). Often, we must determine the values we truly hold over the long haul, in a series of actions and decisions.

So I agree with the lesson that you derive from your story. But my concern was that the lesson would be oversimplified if the story contained an oversimplified theory or idea of how action reveals motivation. The recent book, “How We Decide,” by Jonah Lehrer, is a really good explanation of the complexities of human decision-making, relative to motivations. And it’s far more complex than a one-to-one relationship. Maybe the lesson, then, is for someone to make a list of what he or she claims to value, then keep a journal of one’s actions. Then, over the long-run, what that person truly values will be revealed in the pattern of his or her actions. Does the original list match up with the pattern of actions? I bet he or she (or I, for that matter) would be very surprised at the result. I would probably discover that I value TV and video games far more than I care to admit. :)

Thanks for your response!

Thank you for the thoughtful comment.

I agree that people have multiple wants and desires, often in conflict. In your example, I’m not saying that you don’t REALLY want the surround sound system. You are opting to maintain financial stability because that is a higher priority for you. The point of the story is that you should not lament the fact that you would rather buy the surround sound system than maintain financial stability, because it’s not true.

In a nutshell, I am trying to create awareness that how we choose to spend our time (and money) reflects what we truly value. If we don’t like what we see in that reflection, then we should choose to act instead in accordance with the priorities by which we want to live and work.

“But,” you might retort, “if you REALLY wanted the surround sound system, you’d get it. The fact that you aren’t right now purchasing a surround sound system is evidence that you don’t REALLY want it. It’s not your true motivation.” Fair enough. The problem there is that this particular theory of motivation becomes unfalsifiable (i.e. there are no conditions under which it would be false, hence it cannot be tested and thus cannot be verified). It is an empty theory.

If the lesson is a sort of “be here now” type of thing, that’s fine, but there’s a better way to get to that lesson than this particular route, which seems lovely at first glance, but ends up saying very little (if anything) about how human beings actually work.