9.11.01

This is my small piece of the story that belongs to all of us who remember that day 10 years ago.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001 started like any other day. I was probably in the office at 7:00 a.m. Central time, the normal start time of my daily routine as an Industrial Engineering Manager for a manufacturer in the Chicago suburbs. I probably checked email and ran some reports showing production numbers from the day before. I don’t know for sure. My first clear memory from that day was stopping suddenly as I took my regular brisk walk past some cubicles on my way to our 8:30 a.m. production meeting.

My colleague Dave was listening to news radio louder than usual. Except he wasn’t just listening to it, he was staring at the radio.

I asked something along the lines of “What’s going on?”

He took his eyes off the radio. “Two planes crashed into the World Trade Center.”

Two planes?” I remember saying, and then, after processing the statistical improbability, I added incredulously, “That’s not an accident.”

I dashed off to the meeting. Others were sharing the news with people who hadn’t heard. We went through the motions of the meeting, all kind of stupefied by the little we knew about what had happened in New York.

I don’t remember how I got there, but I remember shortly after that I was hovering in the doorway of the executive conference room. The room had the only TV in the building, still hooked up to a VHS player and using rabbit ears for reception. There were several people gathered around. The CEO, Gary, invited me to come on in. Disaster is a great equalizer.

We watched the video of the planes hitting the buildings over and over again. Then came the news of the Pentagon on fire. I vividly remember watching the South Tower collapse live. I thought, “All those people did was go to work today.”

And that’s when I finally lost it. The tears welled up and I dashed out of the conference room. It’s laughable now, but even in that awful moment I didn’t want to be seen crying at work, especially by the CEO.

After composing myself somewhat, I called my then-fiancé Dave. He was attending a conference in Denver, and the night before had mentioned that he might try to get an earlier flight out that day. “Whatever you do, don’t get on a plane,” I said. He hadn’t yet heard the news. A few days later he would be renting a car with a colleague and a female stranger to drive 1000 miles back to Chicago.

We worked a full day that day. I doubt much work got done.

I recall not being able to sleep that night, and going downstairs in the middle of the night to watch CNN of all things. Those images are indelible to me: the immense amount of paper floating down, the camera still filming while the cameraman is trying to find his way out of the suffocating ash and dust.

The empty blue skies in the days that followed were eerily silent and stark.

Grateful for an office with a door, I cried often in the weeks that followed. I didn’t know anyone who died that day. I didn’t have anyone specific to mourn for. I guess I cried for everyone, and for all of us.

My husband and I were married 25 days later. It was a happy day, although not unaffected; one of my aunts from California didn’t attend because she was afraid to get on an airplane. We woke up the next morning to learn that we were at war in Afghanistan. At the airport, it seemed like we were in a different country – National Guardsmen carried automatic rifles in the terminals. We went to Disney World for our honeymoon. It was mostly deserted (which I have to admit was nice for us), in part because people thought it might be a target for further attacks.

Yet, as a stark contrast to the events which unfolded at the hands of the worst of humanity, we also found the best in ourselves. The courage and valor of those who put their own lives at risk to save others. The flood of donations to support those who had lost loved ones. The unity we felt because, friend and stranger alike, we had all been the target.

In spite of the apparent success of that awful mission, in the end, it was really a failure. The events of that fateful Tuesday reminded us to take care of each other and love one another more. I can’t imagine a terrorist plan where that’s the desired end result.

Today, we remember those that were lost that day. We recall our personal where-were-you-when stories. And, I hope we also revive the feeling that we are all in this life together, and continue to share the best of ourselves long after the details fade back into our day-to-day lives.

How to respond to questions when you can’t provide the answer

Last week, I hosted a Q&A session in which participants could ask any question they wanted about change and together we would come up with options for solutions.

One of the attendees, a manager for a large retail chain, is in the loop when it comes to changes coming down the pike, but has not been given the go ahead to provide the details. Employees know that changes are coming and are asking questions. The manager asked, “How should I respond to questions when I can’t provide the answer?”

She knew that saying, “I don’t know” would be a lie, and would hurt her integrity when it was found out that she knew all along what was happening. Telling the whole truth about the changes before getting the go-ahead from leadership would also be detrimental both to her integrity and her career, and wasn’t really considered an option.

It’s a tricky situation, having to simultaneously tell the truth and keep secrets. So what do you say when you know the answer but are not at liberty to share it to the person who is asking?

The consensus among attendees was that your response should contain three main ingredients:

  • The truth. Even if the only thing you can say is some variation of, “I know the answer to your question, but I’m not at liberty to tell you yet,” always tell the truth. Explain the real reason you can’t tell – for example, that the timing is important so the transition happens at the same time, or that the details are still being finalized.
  • Compassion. When there are gaps in people’s understanding of what is going on, they are going to imagine the answers themselves, and they will probably fill it with the worst case scenario. To the extent you can, quell their anxiety by telling what you know is not going to happen. Show that you understand their need for certainty, and appreciate the fact that they care enough to ask the question.
  • Support. Let them know that whatever happens, you will help them through it.

As change agents, we often find ourselves knowing or even planning something that can’t be shared until the right time. The ability to be honest while withholding confidential information is an important skill to have.

Five ways change is seen as a threat

This past weekend, I chaired a meeting of Organization Change Alliance, a local group of change practitioners which hosts presentations every month in Atlanta. The speaker was Jackie Sherman, and the topic was “Working With the Brain in Mind.”  (I also interviewed Jackie on The Change Agent’s Dilemma last year.)

One of the key takeaways was that our brains are wired to process threats automatically. When you feel threatened, your “flight, fight or freeze” response is triggered, and the thinking part of your brain ceases to work in that mode. Jackie listed 5 perceived threats that are especially related to change in the workplace, with the acronym “SCARF,” which she attributed to the work of David Rock.

S – Status – Anything that lowers our perceived status is a threat.
C – Certainty – We want to know what is going to happen. We automatically fill in the gaps with negative predictions.
A – Autonomy – We need to feel in control of what’s happening to us.
R – Relatedness – Feeling isolated or shunned is a threat. We also avoid people we don’t know well.
F – Fairness – Anything that increases our sense of unfairness feels threatening.

The implications to organizational change are enormous. Consider the stress induced by these common occurrences:

  • Being moved to a smaller office, having a co-worker promoted above you, or being asked to reduce your budget
  • Hearing about a new change without knowing how it will affect you personally
  • Being given a new process or system without having any input or choice
  • Being expected to act against peer pressure
  • Believing that others are held to different expectations or allowed to get away with things that you would not.

Consider the change you are implementing in your organization. In what ways is the change creating these threats or the perception of these threats? How might you minimize the threat or the perception?

Behind the Mask of Resistance

Anyone who has implemented change in an organization has encountered it:  the feeling that you are dragging a heavy weight, or pushing a boulder uphill, or swimming upstream, or banging your head against the wall. The label we put on the sense of being slowed down or stuck is resistance.

Taking the resistance label at face value causes us to blame others for not immediately changing, and gives the impression that there are people in the organization who are either rising up or using subversive methods to stop the change initiative. If we treat resistance as something to be overcome by pushing harder, we end up getting more resistance in return. It is a dangerous mindset for a change agent to believe that the people in the organization are essentially the enemy, needing to be quashed.

The truth is resistance is not something to be overcome, but something to be uncovered. Resistance is in the eye of the beholder. In fact, what change agents experience as resistance when someone else does it seems rational and justified when we do it ourselves.

The following are behaviors commonly interpreted as resistance, plus the real story behind them.

Push Back

As a change agent, when someone speaks up against the change, giving reasons why it won’t work, it is easy to get defensive. If you brush it off as excuses that can be ignored, you are missing a great opportunity to gain buy-in. First of all, their warning might be a valid point that you had not considered, so it would be wise to pay attention. And, the more you listen to, understand, and address concerns, the more they will feel like a participant in the change instead of someone to be bowled over.

Procrastination

Someone keeps putting off tasks that you think they should have completed yesterday. When people seem to do everything else first before working on the change, it may be that their priorities are out of whack, or simply different from yours. They believe they will be most successful by focusing on other things. Or, it could be that they are avoiding the change out of fear, lack of skills, or confusion.

Malicious Compliance

Sometimes people say they agree with the change and go through the motions. They do exactly what is asked – to a fault. It seems they remove themselves from accountability by precisely following instructions, even if a better outcome would come from using their own ingenuity. The term “malicious compliance,” like resistance, indicates a sinister intent; however, it could be that the bare minimum is all they have time for, or that fear is preventing them from coloring outside the lines.

Laying Low

Others during change keep their head down, seeming to not want to get involved.  They might think they can outlast the change initiative if they just pretend it’s not happening.  Based on past experience or the messages they are getting from leadership, they believe that if they wait long enough, the change will just go away. Understanding why they are hiding in plain sight can reveal gaps in your implementation that are leaving people skeptical about leadership resolve.

Going Rogue

Sometimes a person, group or department will take the change and run with it – in a direction you may not have intended. Or they might tweak the process or the message in a way that diminishes alignment and consistency with the rest of the organization. To you it seems like they are not going with the program. But to the people going through the change, it feels like ownership. They are putting their own stamp on it to make it fit, and to feel a sense of control.

Resistance is what you feel after telling yourself a story to interpret others’ behaviors that seem to be working against the change.  Ask yourself:  What is an alternate story that might explain their behavior?  Work with the people going through the change to uncover what is really behind the mask of resistance.

Radio Show: Lessons Learned From A Change Derailed

An experienced change leader, Supriya Desai landed an exciting new ‘dream’ job – implementing change across a global function undergoing major transformation – only to be gone less than 6 months later.  Listen to hear her story – plus the warning signs and lessons she learned so you can benefit from her experience.

Listen to the show here (30 minutes):

Be sure to visit the radio show page to listen to past episodes and subscribe to the show.

Feeling stuck? Wondering what to do? Just ask!

Facing challenges as you implement change in your organization?

Feeling a little bit stuck?

Sometimes all it takes is a new insight that you didn’t see before. Or one more thing to try. Or even a little reassurance that what you think you should do really will work.

Join me for an Open Q&A Session on Tuesday, August 23 at 1:00 p.m. Eastern and get an outside perspective and fresh ideas to move your change initiative forward. For one hour, tap into the experience of someone who has either been there before or helped others through similar circumstances.

It’s free – just register to get the details!

Register for Open Q&A Session in By Phone  on Eventbrite

Getting through to absolutely anyone

I recently read a book that I recommend all change agents read:  Just Listen:  Discover The Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone by Mark Goulston.

Goulston, a psychiatrist who appears to be equal parts business consultant, marriage counselor, and hostage negotiator, shares the science of how the brain moves from “No” to “Yes,” and then tells how to do that with someone whose buy-in and agreement you need.

What makes this book so practical is that the author doesn’t just prescribe general concepts of what to do – he provides specific language to use to trigger the desired result. And while he can’t script out an entire conversation for you personally, having the right words to get the ball rolling is indeed a great help.

At first, I was skeptical of the subtitle – Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone – and in fact, Goulston has an entire chapter of toxic people you won’t be able to get through to (or don’t want to anyway).  He provides examples of the narcissist, the taker, the bully, the psychopath, and how to tell if you are really dealing with one.  This is great information to have so you can stop beating your head against the wall.

I read Just Listen on my Kindle, but this is one I’ll have to buy the hardcover to have on my bookshelf for ready reference for myself and clients.

(I have not been paid or encouraged to write this endorsement.)

Radio Show: Spot and Correct a Workplace Culture Problem

In this episode of The Change Agent’s Dilemma, Culture Sleuth Terri Kruzan shares how to spot and correct a workplace culture problem.

Listen in to hear why culture is important for change agents to pay attention to. Learn how to tell when your organization’s culture is a problem for your change initiative, and what to do about it.

Listen to the show here (30 minutes):

Be sure to visit the radio show page to listen to past episodes and subscribe to the show.

Seven Tactics for Instigating Change

Before anyone is going to support and implement change in your organization, they must see the need for change. That is, they must feel some kind of pain or frustration from the way they currently do things. Sometimes that takes a good look in the mirror to see things the way they really are. Other times, they must realize that the grass could be greener if they made the effort to change.

If the rest of the organization seems unaware of or unfazed by the need for change, then it is your role to step forward as a change agent and create a sense of urgency. The following are seven ways you can raise awareness of the need for change:

Write a white paper. Clarify your idea on paper. Collect articles, data, and other research that supports the change. Find stories that illuminate the need for change. Then compile it all in a succinct document, and share it with others who might act on it and pass it around.

Conduct a survey. When a leader expresses frustration with an issue that you want to help fix, offer to look into the matter. Create a survey to learn more about employees’ perceptions and the underlying causes of behavior. Feed back the results with recommendations for what to do about it.

Take advantage of an open door policy. When a leader invites anyone in the organization to come talk to them, assume they mean you. Prepare in advance – the points to make, the questions to ask, the outcome you want from the conversation. Tie the initiative you want to start to the leader’s goals and values. End by clarifying when you will continue the conversation.

Host a brown bag lunch. Better yet, order pizza. Invite a few colleagues to attend and start an informal conversation. See who else feels the need for change, and seek to understand potential resistance. Join forces with those who want to help you get started.

Call out the elephant in the room. When colleagues noticeably skirt an issue in a meeting, be the one to point out the topic that everyone is avoiding. Until the problem is spoken out loud, it will continue to go unaddressed. Change starts by safely discussing the undiscussable.

Demonstrate results. Conduct a trial on a small scale. Start within the scope of your personal influence to prove the concept. Then, share the results with those who might duplicate your efforts on a larger scale.

Invite yourself to present at a leadership team meeting. Find the person in charge of the agenda and request some time to speak to the group. Even if they say “no,” surely someone will be curious enough about your request to find out what is so important.

Enable others to acknowledge their frustrations and challenges. Watch for opportunities to share the possibility of a better way. Create circumstances to show others the need for change. Take the initiative to instigate change.

What tactics have you used to successfully raise awareness and instigate change?

Even the best changes involve loss

I was reminded this week that all changes – no matter how good – come with a sense of loss.

We bought a car. After 9 years, my husband’s SUV seemed to have more non-working parts than working parts. The key fobs didn’t work, and when he locked the door manually, one of the locks made a funny sound. The air conditioning (essential in Atlanta) occasionally stopped working. And don’t get me started on the noises it made. For months, he’d been saying he wanted to replace it. Last week, it crossed the threshold of 100,000 miles. We decided it was time to part with the 2003 Saturn Vue (which, by the way, is a discontinued make – there’s not even a good place to fix it when it really breaks).

On Tuesday, we found a used Toyota RAV4 – a model we had admired during previous rental car experiences – in great condition and at a good price. So we said goodbye to the Saturn and drove home the Toyota.

The next day, I asked him how he was enjoying his “new” car.

“Well…” he shrugged without enthusiasm. I gave him an incredulous look, because this car was so much better than his old one. After making a big investment, I couldn’t believe he would say that he didn’t like it.

Then, he started to list the little things that he lost. The locks don’t lock automatically when he turns on the car. And there’s no power outlet in the back seat. His emergency kit doesn’t fit under the driver’s seat anymore.

He summarized:  “It’s just… everything is different.”

And I smiled.  Because it’s a perfect example that even good change feels bad.